Q. 1. What should be the position of Catholics parents regarding children having access to both parents during marriage, separation and a divorce?
A. 1. Children are God's gift to both parents. As such, neither parent has the right, for whatever reason, to deny the children access to both of their parents.
I have heard all the reasons, "he is never around," "he left us," "he does not provide child support," "he threw us out," "he divorced his children when he divorced me," and the list goes on. Whatever sin the departing parent has committed, he/she shall be answerable to God; God alone is the Judge.
Under certain circumstances, in rare situations, it is prudent that visitations take place under the supervision of a social worker or another legally appointed person to ensure the safety of the child(ren). Such visitations are to be supported to ensure that the child(ren) shall have access to their parents.
At all time, Catholic parents are expected to behave as Christian who display the love of Christ in their thoughts, actions and words. They are called to provide a loving environment for their child(ren) to diminish the suffering that the child(ren) endure as a result of family break-ups.
I have seen dozens of mothers denying children access to their God given fathers for the endless reasons that they could fabricate, most of them not being valid in the eyes of God. I have seen an endless number of children crying for their fathers, many crying themselves to sleep night after night. In the meantime, the hate, the anger and the revenge of the mothers continued to grow against the Divine Will of God. The motherly abuse of these innocent children calls for the wrath of God to fall from Heaven and to eternally punish them.
I have seen fathers leave their family and never look back. They blanked out their God given child(ren) as if it was furniture that was left behind. They too shall be answerable to God. They shall pay a great price for having rejected God's gift(s) to them.
Love as God has loved! Love is perfect. Love is forgiving. Love overlooks many past events, especially when it concerns the secular and spiritual welfare of the child(ren).