Q. 1. As a Catholic, what should I do now that I found out my spouse has been cheating on me?
A. 1. First of all, I am sorry to hear that the sacredness of your marriage has been marred by infidelity. Each time that such an event takes place in history, it is as if the unfaithful spouse is pierce the heart of their husband/wife with a dagger. The wound is deep and will take a very long time to hear.
The Catholic Church teaches that a sacramental marriage is indissoluble. It can only end in death.
Sometimes, due to circumstances such as violence in a marriage, chronic alcohol abuse, etc... the couple can no longer live together. They choose to each go their own way. That means...
• The couple obtains a civil divorce while remaining married in the eyes of the Church. The Catholic Church does not recognize a civil divorce as a Church annulment.
• The couple may seek to obtain an annulment from the Catholic Church. This is a declaration that in the eyes of the Church, the marriage was never a valid sacramental bond. This step is necessary if one of the parties wishes to marry again in the Church.
In a situation like yours, the Church cannot tell you what to do. I cannot tell you to stay together or to end your marriage. Only you can make that decision.
Should you both decide to stay together, there must be a sincere commitment from both of you to restore the respect and trust that once existed. Such can only be achieved through professional help from a trained counselor.
Should you decide to proceed with a separation, you should obtain assistance from a trained counselor so you may find strength and healing in order to begin a new chapter in your life.
The prayers of the Church are with you that this heart breaking event may not interfere with your spiritual growth and personal relationship with God.